Winter Sailing in Wellington NZ

The only problem with winter sailing in Wellington is either too much wind or none but a really nice day for a flap!

Colonoscopy

A couple of weeks ago a friend sent me a email joke, I don't usually read them but this one made me laugh, I shouldn't have.

Later, on a fairly routine visit to the Dr. in relation to a minor issue, it was suggest that I should make an appointment for...\ Yes, you guessed right and its all true! (but mine was Klean-Prep)

I share the following email I think this explains the procedure much better than I could:

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal: 
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies..

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humour, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologise to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.. 
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point..

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realised that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

And yes, I'm fine. K

More DIY

Another project that we can remove from the dreaded B list.
A set of shelves and cupboards in the sitting room, the gallery was reconverted into a workshop again, as it was the only space big enough to build the units without moving MDF dust throughout the house.

 It was a bit of a mission fitting, as the total weight is just under 400Kg's, the whole thing is bolted to the floor and wall so in the event of an earthquake it should stay in place!
Only a little bit of finishing at the side and top.
There's even a little place for my Ferrari (model).

Then There was One!

We now have 'only' one small rabbit, Oscar (dog) scored a extra free dinner yesterday, I found him sitting with the evidence of bits of fur.- the only pieces left.
It's a pity but they make a big mess of the garden and lawn, little holes everywhere and they demolish any greenery in the vegetable garden.

More Projects

The 'B' project list has just been resurrected, again:

•  Moulding profiles have been ordered to frame a few more of the artworks.
• The MDF has been cut and delivered ready for the 'small library' in the sitting room.
• Preliminary drawings of the 'new house' - this just in case we decide to downsize and the property market improves...??? (I should never have shown Mrs DIY how to use Autocad)
• Fabric samples for the currtains.
• Flooring samples.

• A new body - my old origional one is getting a bit worn out.

My Glasses Have Returned

Some time ago I was lamenting the fact my glasses had all gone AWOL, well they are back. (18 January 2012)
I keep finding them everywhere, all in places were you would expect to find them, the bookcase, in the glass case, the car and even in my pocket.
Maybe there's a message here.
I wonder if I looked hard enough I might find all the $10.00 notes that I have misplaced...(in my dreams)

Wild Life!!

A couple of baby rabbits have a little home under the deck, maybe more?
Oscar (dog) really wants them, he spends a lot of time lying in wait for his free meal but they are a very fast and don't venture very far from home.

While we are talking about the dog, today he decided to dig up the entire garlic bed in search of something really important.
The new beds are constructed of wooden surrounds that lift the level up by 350mm, this is so I don't have to bend to far, (is this a sign of old age?) he succeeded in half emptying the one that was intended to be our years supply of Garlic, what a mess.
 

I was very angry, a total waste of time, he doesn't seem to understand the Anglo Saxon words I was using, but I think the delivery tone may have had some effect.
So now the bed has had anti-dog protection installed. I hope it works...

I'm Being Framed!

 

 

  

The framing of the 'artworks' has started, the mouldings have arrive from the wholesaler and now I'm a picture framer, this is a sample of the first batch - only 25 more frames to go.

It's a lot easier putting the sections together on the kitchen bench rather that struggling in the sea container that I use for a workshop.

I didn't ask permission from Mrs DIY but I promise to clean up after...

The art-works framed have now been hung, and they (modestly) look quite good.
Some days when I look at them my feelings range from what a load of rubbish to other days when I think they look OK.
The frames seem to put a full stop to the work and focus the mind on the art, maybe my next worry will be is I might sell (heaven forbid) some of them, then I will have to start again, filling the empty spaces in the gallery and house, on the other hand I will at last earn some $$$$'s
The last painting I sold, I calculated that it earned me $2.50 an hour so I'm not going to become wealthy.

Here's hoping, it looks as if the opening will be around Aug - Sept 2012.

Sunset

I had just finished walking Oscar (dog) and couldn't resist taking this picture of the sunset over the vineyard, it's getting dark early now with the sun going down around 1750hrs so the dog is getting an earlier walk, it's one of the problems having a black dog, you tend to loose sight of him in the dark.
I'm thinking of getting him one of those flashing red LED's for his collar.

Congratulations to Kobo

I take back it all back, the nasty things I have been thinking about Kobo.
We did it, I really mean they, the clever people who man, or women the help desks at Kobo, fixed the problem.
Thank you, to the help desk names of Maina S and Carmelia A, they were able to navigate me through the fix, via email.
Cheers, now I can get back to the books that I never read when I was younger, eg Sherlock Holmes ( a good read) and free...
Still like the real thing, they look nice on the shelf.